And then fell a bit out of love, because wow, $50 for three rolls of film? $60 to get them developed and scanned?! Hell no. I was a broke college student and didn’t have that kind of money to toss around.

But now, I’m a slightly less broke and significantly more nerdy 9-to-5er with a couple spare bucks and homework-free evenings and weekends. I’ve been re-united with my love for analogue technologies of all forms—with film cameras being the star of the show.

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Why shoot film?

Is a valid question. I get it, we live in the 21st century, digital cameras are like, objectively super good. A lot more convenient than film, that’s for sure. And way cheaper over time. And easier to find. And easier to get repaired. And easier to find accessories for. And significantly more practical in every single way.

But in a world where everything is practical, everything is fast, everything is easy (why walk when you can just drive? Why read when you can just scroll? Why learn or do anything when you can get AI to do it for you?), one occasionally craves a way to slow down, to do things that are impractical and difficult and monotonous (and, unfortunately, stupidly expensive. I’m not a fan of that bit).

You only get a set number of exposures per roll of film, you can only carry a finite amount of film with you, every image shot with film has to have intention behind it. Every roll has to be developed if you want to see the results of your work, then either scanned or printed in a darkroom.

It’s a whole lot of effort, for only a little reward. But it’s fun. Kinda. In a weird, masochistic kind of way.

Film cameras 101

You can find film cameras dating back to the late 1800s. You can find brand new film cameras on AliExpress or Temu or Wish.

You should probably aim for something in the middle. New film cameras feel like plastic toys—even the more expensive ones, like the Diana F+ by Lomography, feel more like a Happy Meal toy than a $100+ camera. Facebook Marketplace, Kijiji, and other local buy-and-sell platforms are the best way to find a film camera—that’s how I found about five of the seven cameras I currently own.

You’ll want to start off with a 35mm SLR with automatic advancing.

That’s a lot of jargon, ain’t it? Here’s the tl';dr

35mm: film comes in a lot of different sizes. 35mm is the most common size of film, 35mm cameras are the most common type of film camera.

SLR: this stands for Single Lens Reflex. This means that when you look into the viewfinder, you’ll see what the lens is seeing because a little mirror reflects it up to you.

Automatic advancing: this means that when you take a photo, the film in the camera moves onto the next frame automatically. This is more common on newer cameras (“newer” meaning from the 1980s onward).

In my opinion, The sentence “35mm SLR with automatic advancing” reflects the importance of each bit. Starting with anything other than a 35mm will probably be a total pain in the ass. The film is typically more expensive, more difficult to find, and often has fewer exposures (aka you can take fewer pictures per roll); rangefinder cameras—the other main type, where you look through a viewfinder that doesn’t show you what the lens is seeing—work just fine, it’s just more convenient to see exactly what you’re going to take a photo of; and automatic advancing is really just good for people who would forget to manually advance the film (aka me).

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Film 101

Like I said, there’s lots of sizes of film. I’m going to talk about 35mm, but I may as well mention a couple others:

• 120: This is something called a medium format film—basically, it’s bigger than 35mm film. about 6cm tall, and anywhere from 4.5-9cm wide, depending on the camera you put it in.

• 110: Itty-bitty-tiny-teeny-weeny film. about half the height of 35mm film, this comes in weird little cartridges. I’ve only ever seen one 110 camera, and the film is pretty tough to find. Because the film is so small, the images typically don’t have the best quality.

• 4×5 Sheet Film: This is large format film. 4” by 5”, it goes in ‘view cameras’. I don’t know a dang thing about view cameras.

• 8×10 Sheet Film: 4x5 but double big. Wow.

You could go for any of the above, technically. If you’re a masochist with deep pockets. Of this list, 120 is the most practical.

Film comes in colour or black and white. Colour is typically more expensive than black and white. This bit is entirely up to personal preference.

There are lots of types of film, here are some of the most popular ones:

• C-41: This is what most colour films use. You can find it at almost any store that sells film photography stuff.

• Black and White: You’ll never guess. And I’m not telling

• E-6: The development process used for colour slide film. This isn’t really that common anymore, but basically, it means your film will come out as its true colours rather than as a negative.

• ECN-2: The development process for motion picture colour negative film. You can buy 30.5 metre spools of this kind of film and load it into film canisters if you wanna save some money but waste some time. It has a backing called Remjet—it makes it less friction-y and static-y, because it’s meant to be used in motion picture cameras, where it would be going pretty dang fast. The backing needs to be removed before you develop it.

The first two are the easiest to deal with. If you want to do colour, do C-41 colour. If you want to do black and white… well, y’know.

ISO 101

Film comes in different ISOs. ISO stands for, I kid you not, International Organisation for Standardisation. Not very descriptive. ISO is a measure of how sensitive film is to light- the lower the number, the less sensitive it is. That means you have to shoot in brighter places, or that you need to let it be exposed to light for a longer period of time.

• ISO 0.8–3 – Super-duper low speed. Pretty much only ever used for scientific and archival films. Requires really long exposures (AKA, it has to be exposed to light for a really long time) or super bright lighting.

• ISO 6 – Extremely bright sunlight or powerful studio flash.

• ISO 25 – Bright midday sun, beaches, snow, studio flash.

• ISO 50 – Sunny outdoor photography.

• ISO 64 – Bright daylight, only used by a couple films like Kodachrome 64

• ISO 100 – Normal daylight film. The lowest ISO you’re likely to find in a store, good for most outdoor stuff, so long as it isn’t super grey or dark

• ISO 200 – Good for overcast and bright daylight.

• ISO 400 – Good for like, most things. Handles dim outdoor light, bright daylight, bright indoor light, it’s got it all. Probably the best ISO to start out with.

• ISO 800 – Good for dim lighting, indoors, dusk, concerts, street photography (← if you want to do street photography, don’t be a jerk about it. Strangers don’t want to be on your Instagram).

• ISO 1000, 1250, 1600, 3200 – Lower and lower light, you’re probably gonna have a difficult time finding anything with this high of an ISO for a reasonable price.

And, so…

That’s the basics. You get the camera, you get the film, and you take photos. Getting your film developed or developing it at home, that’s a whole can of worms. I’m only just getting started with developing my own film—as in, my supplies haven’t even arrived yet. So, I’m definitely not in a place to speak on that.

Having someone else develop and scan your film probably shouldn’t cost more than $20 per roll (yeah, yikes, I know. That’s why I’m starting to develop my own), but it’ll vary depending on where you live.

Scanning is pretty easy if you already have a decent digital camera, a macro lens, a tripod or stand or whatever, and something to hold the film. This article goes more into depth on this—once again, it’s not my place to speak on something I’ve never done.

From there, you can get into darkroom printing (my next ridiculous, overpriced hobby), different camera sizes (also my next ridiculous, overpriced hobby. Hello, 120 film), whatever you want.

What is Linux?

I’ll spare you the technical mumbo-jumbo, there’s a million other places on the internet that will shove a bunch of uber-tech-nerd words at you while you flounder to understand and eventually give up because it requires a whole degree in being a dork to make sense of.

Linux is a template that people build different operating systems (called ‘distributions’ or ‘distros’) on top of. It’s open-source, that means anyone can go and look at the code, tell the creators about issues and bugs, and offer to help with its upkeep. There are hundreds, probably thousands of different operating systems built on Linux, but most of them don’t matter. You’re not going to need to know about smart-fridges or cars or grocery store self-serve thingies (which all run on Linux), that’s nothingburger.

So, here’s the big two (according to me):

1. Fedora

   This one is my distro of choice. Right now, I’m typing this from a sixteen-year-old ThinkPad T410 running Fedora (not my usual choice, but my main laptop’s charger is busted).

   

   Looks sleek, doesn’t it? I’d say this is one of the more difficult distros for a Windows user to get used to, it’s not super difficult, but it’s very different. All of your applications live in a little tray- more like Android or IOS in that regard.

2. Mint

   Mint is a go-to for beginners. It’s more windows-y than Fedora.

   

   Makes you feel right at home, yeah? Everything is right where you expect it to be!

Hot girls use Linux. And here’s why.

1. Linux is (actually, really) free

   Yeah, for realsies. No ‘yes, but’s, no secret data collection, Linux is entirely free.

   There’s a somewhat common turn of phrase, ‘if something is free, you’re paying with your data’- meaning that many free platforms (such as social media) may be free to use, but they make money selling information about you and your habits to advertising companies (which allow them to better tailor advertisements to you and other people in your demographics), and by shoving ads down your throat at every possible opportunity. Hell, even paid services shove ads down your throat. Windows 10 & 11, which cost over 100CAD, feature ads on the homescreen, ads in the form of pop-ups, ads in the form of pre-installed bloatware, ads, ads, ads.

   Linux, broadly speaking, does none of the above. It doesn’t track and sell your data, it doesn’t shove ads at you- most Linux distributions are upkept by volunteers and/or not-for-profit companies, or by companies who make their money in enterprise software (aka providing stuff to governments and big businesses).

2. Linux is really easy, actually

   A lot of people seem to think Linux is this difficult-to-use nightmare. Maybe that was the case like, 20 years ago, but now? It’s easy-peasy. you install it, mess around with the settings to make it suit your fancy, and then you’re done. Coming from someone who has a formal education in computer bullshit, it’s honestly easier than Windows in a lot of ways. Not in ways that’ll ever impact most people, the average Joe does not need to know a damn thing about, like, user rules or whatever. But believe me. it’s easier in Linux.

3. It will literally just make your computer better

   Remember earlier, when I mentioned I was writing this on a sixteen-year-old laptop? Yeah. The only reason this thing is usable is because I have Linux on it. Windows is big, clunky, drains all your computers resources like an evil cartoon vampire. Linux, on the other hand, is lightweight. Demure. Cute.

Okay, cool, now how the hell do I use it?

Well, you install it. Duh.

Okay, okay, no, but really- when you’ve never installed an operating system before, the whole thing can be really daunting.

1. Take your pick

   Pick an operating system. I recommend Fedora (click the ‘For Intel and AMD x86_64 systems’ one) or Mint (click the ‘Cicku’ one)

2. Download Rufus

   ‘Oh, but there’s so many-’

   

   The top one. Just click the top one. Nothing else. don’t touch any other ‘download’ button. it’s probably an ad, or a version you don’t need. By the time you read this, the number may be different, but that’s okay. It should still work the same.

3. Plug in your thumb drive and boot up Rufus

   Or USB drive, whatever you wanna call it. And it has to be a drive- you cant use like, your phone or something. that wont work. don’t do that.

   From here, you should follow this fella’s quick tutorial for how to use it.

4. Restart the beast

   Once your thumb drive is done cooking, you’re ready to start the installation process.

   Before you do much of anything, you gotta google ‘[your computer] disable secure boot’ & ‘[your computer] boot from external device’. Secure boot will make it so you can’t boot from your thumb drive, and every computer has some different bullshit way to open the ‘boot from external device’ menu. For me, I gotta mash the F1 key. Unless you’re also on an ancient ThinkPad, it’ll probably be different for you.

   From there, select the drive you want it to boot from. It should be pretty obvious, and if it isn’t, take note of the list of boot options it gives you, turn it off, unplug your thumb drive, and do it again. Which one is gone? That’s the one you’ll wanna use.

   Now, it’ll show you something like this:

   

   Hit enter, you probably don’t need to do the ‘test’ bit. Then, give it a little time to load.

5. Now you’re cooking with fire

   After a short wait, your device will boot up to something like this:

   

   It’ll be different, if you’re on a different distro. Obvs. It’ll walk you through the whole thing. There will be partition options, and if you want advice on how to dual-boot Linux and Windows, you’ll have to find it elsewhere. Grip it and rip it, babe, it’s all or nothing.

   Any issue you have, a million people have had it before. give it a Google and you’ll find the answer in half a second.

Well, I did it. Now what?

Now, just go back to doing whatever you were doing before. But like, better, and faster, and with no spyware built into your operating system. Check out all the pre-installed stuff. Do hot girl shit.

‘Cause hot girls use Linux.

I’ve got a lot to say about plenty of things, a degree in business, another degree in web programming, and a third in the art of being an asshole with a lot of opinions.

Occasionally, I may post on SubStack. Buckle up.